Dear younger self,
I cast my mind back to being 21 again. Excited for life but feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. Low self-esteem and insecurities about an uncertain future plague your mind. I understand now that all was meant to be for me to grow and learn from experience. Making me the person I am now. However, if I could talk to you face to face there are a couple things I wish I could say to you to help ease your pain.
Don’t be afraid to go for what you want
When I was younger I used to think it was self-indulgent or wrong of me to enjoy life. I thought it was wrong to go for what I wanted because that would mean me having to be selfish. Now that I am older and wiser, I have realised sometimes you need to be. And that it is ok to go for what you want. People will always want you to serve or do their bidding. However, if you do that you will have nothing left for yourself in the end.
Do not apologise for who you are
The younger me used to feel shy, or guilty for liking the things that I liked. I liked computer games, stories, anime, basketball and learning about other cultures. But I was always made to feel some type of way about it because of the environment I was surrounded in which promoted gang lifestyle, being famous in your area and doing stuff, deep down you know you do not want to do. Just to fit in. This led me to live two lives. Day and night. I have wisened up to this. I have realised it is your uniqueness that is your strength and I have been rewarded for it the more I follow my path. This leads on to my next point.
You don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself
Sometimes we can feel loyalty to everyone around us. We feel a sense of responsibility to make sure we are the best at everything. Not for ourselves but for other people. The problem with this is that once you’ve achieved what people want you to achieve, they will always find another hoop for you to try and jump, though. And it goes on and on. You need to realise you can not make everyone happy. And that the people that really care for you do not want you to live life for them but for yourself. As long as you are happy then nothing else really matters.
If everyone likes you then you’re being fake
It is inevitable in life that there will be people that take to you and others that will hate. You just need to learn to accept that. Deep down everybody would like to be loved by everyone but in reality, we all know better. the only way that happens is if you are constantly changing your personality like a chameleon. That is exhausting and draining. Easier to be yourself. That you only get genuine people around you and never have to worry about snakes in the grass. Trust me you will lose friends as you grow older and gain more lasting and meaningful relationships. Not about numbers. It’s about who really is riding for you to win.
Life is trial and error. It is ok to make mistakes
I used to hate making mistakes. Made me feel inadequate and this was a heavy pill to swallow for a perfectionist. Overthinking everything but too afraid to make a move in case it was the wrong one. Unfortunately, this is not how life works. There is no maps or perfect blueprint. It is trial and error. And you learn more from your mistakes than being correct or right all the time. also, life is more fun when you get off the beaten track and explore new original avenues. Grow faster and learn more. Best thing is no one can judge you because everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect so do not worry about the haters.
Accepting that you are not perfect gets easier as you get older
Accepting this will be the answer to a lot of your problems. Also understanding there is no such thing as perfect. Just preference. Believe me, as you get older you realise people will always think there is someone else who they would rather be for a moment. Also as you get older you become happier in that truth because as life tries to get complicated, it is this simple truth that makes your decisions simple. We all have our strengths and so do you. You need to embrace that strength because there are plenty of your friends or loved one who would want to that strength you have.
You are different and as you get older you will be rewarded for it
It is always better to be yourself because the rewards you get for being yourself will always outweigh any shortcuts you take. You will appreciate your life greatly and the blessings you have receievd. Making your experiences far more fulfilling and long lasting.
You have a great future and things will become clearer the more you experience. You just need to be braver and muster the courage to go and experience life. You are not like the rest who may seem to have a perfect life or get it right on the first try. You know you are not that guy. you are the type to experience and gain great wisdom. Wisdom that people seek in you and admire. Surround yourself in environment that is positive about you. It will help you to overcome your over thinking and worries. The world has a lot in store for you. Just need to muster the courage to take that jump into the unknown. You will be fine.
All the best from your best friend forever…